so i think a squirrel might be stuck in our living room air conditioner. because i often hear squirrel noises outside our window, but this guy sounds like he's in serious pain, and i don't know what else to do besides bang on it a few times, hoping to let him free. even lily looks freaked out.

i just opened my fire escape window to see if i could see anything, and it took me 5 minutes because the stoppers we had installed after our apartment was robbed were stuck, so i guess you're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't. note to self: take those suckers out every once in awhile to make sure we're not screwed in the event of a fire.

these scratching sounds are seriously freaking me out, so in the spirit of christmas and conspicuous consumption, here's a happy list:

things i want (because they are cool and/or useful)

• this ozetta wool cowl-neck scarf

• a toggle knit wool chain

• michael kors perfume, because i ran out

• a really big soup pot

• a vacuum cleaner that works

• a grill pan

happy holidays! (buy me a soup pot.)

well, the family benefit is over, and i thought after saturday it would be a good chance to do all the things normal people do when not planning huge life-consuming events: cleaning off my desk, clearing out my e-box, going to the gym (yeah, that's a new one). unfortunately, my body decided to break down, and i've spent the past 4 days being either a) irritatingly congested or b) so doped up on the remnants of last night's nyquil that walking up the stairs to the subway makes me feel like i have asthma.

my apologies to everyone around me for being so cranky, by the way.

so anyway, i blew off my personal training session tonight and am now covered in a blanket, drinking tea and watching suzanne somers sell jewelry on the home shopping network. apparently she was a "groundbreaking pioneer" in the world of celebrities selling CZ jewelry on TV. she started in '94. time flies.

seriously, though, aren't the salespeople on HSN amazing? they can talk about a necklace or a blender for 20 minutes straight! if i ever go into sales, i am totally going to turn to HSN for lessons and inspiration.

anyway. onto the bullets.

things that blew my mind this week

• the BBC's alcohol experiment - a widget where you insert how many drinks you had the night before and it tells you the caloric equivalent in food. to avoid depression, i will not be using this again.

• these pictures of the flood in venice. i especially like the guys who are like, "fuck it. we are knee deep in water, but we are going to have a scotch."

• prop 8 - the musical. the video itself is hysterical, but what's more interesting are the comments on the new york times blog entry. i didn't know any right wingers even read the times, but some of the first comments are from opponents of gay marriage complaining about the "moral bankruptcy of those who support gay rights," who "cannot engage in an actual, fair discussion about the issue." an interesting arrow to sling considering one of his conservative cohort's contributions to the discussion was: "GROW UP. YOU LOST. MOVE ON. Stop whinning (sic). I did not vote for Obama. My side lost. I'm moving on."

rightly so, an "actual, fair discussion" of the gay marriage issue is out of the question considering the fact that basic human rights are at stake. i wonder if reader matthew would have invited martin luther king, jr., to dinner in order to rationally explain why his entire race should be subjugated to the back of the bus.

after a reader asked matthew what, exactly, he had against gay marriage, he replied:

You ask me to demonstrate how gay marriage threatens society. I ask you to demonstrate how it contributes. Heterosexual marriage contributes to society by providing a stable environment in which children can be born and raised to be responsible citizens (which is in the government’s best interest). Homosexual couples, by definition, can not have children on their own and have no potential to provide this benefit to society. This is the logical reason they do not qualify for marriage.

For the record, I have gay friends whom I love. Unlike many vocal opponents of prop 8, I do not believe that loving someone equals approving of their behavior.

first of all, if we judged the merit of heterosexual marriage on its ability to provide stable environments and raise responsible citizens, the practice would have been revoked centuries ago. second of all, in modern society's loose definition of "having children" (adoption, surrogacy, in vitro, that man that gave birth), gay couples have almost the same ability to have children as any straight couple. i say, give gay couples the chance to help rectify the situations of the thousands of children in foster care who were fucked up by their straight parents. third of all, there is nothing i hate more than the "i'm not racist, i have a black friend" excuse. doesn't this guy watch reality TV? nothing gets your ass beat faster than that. and then there's his sanctimonious "i love you, i just don't love what you do" shtick. if i were his gay "friend," i would ditch this guy in a second because of his condescending, holier-than-thou attitude. oh yeah, that and the fact that HE GETS TO DECIDE HOW I LIVE MY LIFE.

side note, i just searched TDF for cheap theater tickets and noticed there is an eagles tribute band playing at b.b. king's next week named spread eagle.