jane says

my very first college internship was at the now-defunct jane magazine. i am proud of this fact because no matter what naysaying readers nostalgic for the days of sassy may have said about the quality of the publication, i was always a fan. reading jane felt like i was reading my own writing (or speaking...or both). p.s. can we talk for one second about how janemag.com now links you to glamour's website? ew.

i first applied to fairchild for a marketing & promotions internship. i got called back for an interview the summer before my junior year, and being the naive whippersnapper i was, took 3 days off work and paid $500 out of pocket to fly from california back to new york for what basically amounted to an hour of hardcore sorority round robin/a cattle call, wherein 20-30 prospective interns had to race to interview with as many magazine reps as they could in the time allotted.

that interview still pops up in my nightmares every now and again for several reasons: a) i had never spent a summer in NYC before, so i was unprepared for the hades that is the subway system in 95-degree humidity. i got to the fairchild building in what i thought was pretty good shape, until i saw my friend lena, who tactfully suggested i go to the bathroom to check myself out. my pit stains, i kid you not, almost reached down to the bottom of my t-shirt. b) you might be wondering why i was wearing a t-shirt without, say, a blazer or some other type of professional accoutrement over it. that's because i was 20 years old, on my first interview, and i had no idea how to dress, much less for a business position. needless to say, i got some pretty disdainful looks. c) i was interviewing for a MARKETING internship. wtf was i thinking? this day was like 20 of those dreams where you get to class and you have no idea there's a midterm, except it was worse, because it was REAL.

i still don't know why i applied in the first place, or how i even got called back, and yet there i was in a room full of douchey-looking undergrads in business suits ready to talk about how their stern management classes had prepared them for an internship that would probably amount to pouring wine and handing out hors d'oeurves at WWD promotional parties.

somehow, i failed to convince anyone that my position as event coordinator of greek week had really prepared me for a career in magazine publishing, and i left new york sweaty and $500 none the richer.

luckily, when i came back to school that fall, an announcement was sent out over NYU's journalism listserv that jane was looking for an editorial intern who would not have to do any writing whatsoever. i'm pretty lazy, so this sounded pretty good to me. i went in for an interview, and i think i got the job because i walked into the office and nearly hyperventilated when i saw jeff johnson, katy mccoll, and esther haynes in the flesh.

these days, you would have to offer an exhorbitant amount of money to get me to the office wearing anything besides converse and a sweatshirt, but back then, i was determined to prove myself as a fashionista -- a fashionista who could walk in HEELS, no less -- so i showed up for my first day in dark jeans, a wraparound top, and turquoise pointy-toe pumps. (which, now that i think about it, i kind of miss. they broke during one of my lunch breaks at my next internship at niche media. more on that later. RIP turquoise pumps.) i imagined my first day like the waiting room at a really nice spa without the complimentary robes and slippers: i'd get a tour of the office, be placed at my personal cubicle. they'd make sure i had all the office supplies i needed, that i knew how to use the phone. then i could take the day to get used to my new surroundings before i was given an assignment.

instead, the photo editor came up to me before i'd put my bag down (i'd soon find out the intern cubicles were first-come first-serve, and there weren't always enough for all of us), gave me her camera phone, and told me to go out on the street and take 40-50 pictures of couples to illustrate jane's annual sex poll. NOW.

okay...

i confidently strode out to herald square, where i figured i'd hit the most pedestrian traffic. i soon found out that a) not a lot of couples take leisurely strolls down 34th street at 11:30am, and b) most people are skeptical about attaching their faces to an article calculating the percentage of jane readers who like to take it doggy style.

who knew?

i stood on the corner of 34th & 6th for six straight hours, minus a lunch break at sbarro, and at the end of it, i had only 10 pictures, mostly of non-english-speaking tourists who i don't think quite understood why i was photographing them but who signed the release anyway. i was near tears and terrified of returning to the office having failed my very first assignment, but i hobbled inside anyway, cursing those f***ing turquoise pumps, and upon seeing the pictures, the photo editor squealed in delight, exclaiming she'd sent two other interns out, and they'd both come back with nothing.

huh, i thought. maybe this won't be so bad after all.

in fact, the internship ended up tying as one of my favorites (granted, this ranking is out of 4 internships, but still). although i am quite happy with my work environment now, i still would have loved to work at jane full-time. it was the perfect mix of girls wearing skin-tight jeans and 4-inch heels, and girls wearing hoodies and sneakers. i got to have deliciously awkward elevator moments with people like LC from laguna beach. the staffers were all really nice and down-to-earth, unlike the plasticized manolo zombies from W who shared our bathroom. people were always zoning out with their headphones on, trying out products from the free table, and just generally chillin' like villains. plus i was soon in good graces with several of the editors because i was a transcribing and researching BEAST, and some of them would only let me do their transcriptions because i seemed to be the only one who knew how to recognize and correctly spell 'proenza schouler.'

unfortunately, i was an idiot and left jane after a semester to pursue an ad sales internship at niche media, purveyor of publications like gotham and LA confidential, which basically try to pass off 150 pages of pictures of rich people at parties as editorial content. i was swayed to go in this direction after attending a particularly convincing ad sales seminar at fairchild, during which the speaker was so dynamic and upbeat about her profession that i decided i, too, must follow this lucrative and fulfilling path.

i realized too late that it's the JOB of an ad sales rep to be dynamic and convincing, no matter how shitty the product. i ended up quitting niche media one month into the gig, after the publisher of gotham stormed into the office, verbally berated her staff for not being able to sell the inside front cover of the magazine, told them she was SICK and TIRED of doing their FUCKING job FOR them and that they'd better get their FUCKING ACT TOGETHER, and then broke down into tears, retreating into her office and slamming the door.

and that's when i decided i wasn't cut out for ad sales.

i missed jane right then, but i never quite reconnected with it. they didn't have any open positions for me after i left niche, and though i planned on returning once i got back from being abroad in london, my old boss had left by that point, and the guy that took her place didn't guarantee me a position.

everything works out for the best, i guess, because i ended up interning at the new victory instead, which lead to my current full-time job, and jane closed up shop soon thereafter, so i guess it's good that all my eggs weren't in one basket. nevertheless, i have fond memories of that magazine, and my ears always perk up whenever i see a byline of an editor i worked with there, or if i read anything about jane pratt (although i came on just after she'd left, i did talk to her once when i accidentally picked up the managing editor's extention -- needless to say, i was sharply berated).

such was the case last night, when i picked up a copy of lula i hadn't yet read, and inside was an interview with jane by jane's former executive editor, stephanie trong.

in the interview, jane reminisced about sassy, which featured headlines like "11 uses for an ex-boyfriend" instead of "10 outfits that will make him notice you," and cover shoots with kurt cobain and courtney love before it was cool to have musicians with blue hair/drug addicts front and center.

now, there are many things make me feel bad about myself, but none so much as jane pratt's life story. jane was approached to be sassy's editor-in-chief when she was "just barely 24," and she hired many of her best writers and editors simply from letters they wrote her, including karen catchpole, who was added to the staff when she was only 20.

these facts are hitting me particularly hard right now considering i am on the eve of my 23rd birthday and am tinkering away at my blog (readership: 3) on days when my boss is sick.

i should have my own magazine by now!